Song for the Sorrowful
by BJ-Blatzkowitz-reborn
Summary: This takes off from the time where Claus returns from the desert...It focuses on all the girls' thoughts on their loved ones at that time...
1. Lavi

Song for the sorrowful…  
**Chapter 1-Lavi**

By BJ-Blatzkowitz

Disclaimer: Okay, I don't own Last Exile, this is copyrighted by Studio Gonzo. This is also under copyright of Madman Entertainment. The characters are used with uttermost care and with permission. Other characters not in Last Exile is under copyright of me, if you want to use it, ask me and mention it on the disclaimer.

WARNING: This fanfic contains several spoilers from the series in general. So if you haven't watched the entire series, then stop reading now. Otherwise, continue on at your own risk. Also, this fanfic uses "These Kids" by Joel Turner and the Modern Day Poets…Please listen to this as this is the basis for this fanfic…

"Lavi, could you come out? I know that you're upset with Norika falling. When I heard of it, I wasn't too sure where to go after hearing that. But I want to finish off the vanship now so that we can fulfil our promise. Please Lavi?" She heard them turn and retreating off into the distance.

"You still don't get it…" and with that she fell into a sleepless slumber…

Lavi's voice

_These kids trapped in a struggle and…_

I remember that day when Claus promised to the skies that we'd fly into the Grand Stream. Just like our dads. But we had to struggle to get there…from trying to fly for the first time to the Twelve hour endurance Race…or the Horizon Cave Twelve as all vanship pilots knew of it…

_Don't know where they are heading now…_

The winds and the skies mostly had us running around with no place to go after the Guild destroyed our home…But the Silvana managed to become our new home…But then I met her…my rival I thought…

_A head full of trouble is all they getting…_

Out of the two of us, Claus was always the one that gets them into trouble…the first time they tried to fly, their interference in that battle with the Mad-Thane fleet, taking Al to the Silvana and the most craziest thing of all was going after the Silvana, even though I repeatedly warned him that it was crazy to do that…but somehow, we managed to get through…

_And nobody knows about the suffering they're going through…_

_And you wouldn't believe 'em if they told you…_

I had suffered a lot after coming onboard the Silvana…especially after that time where Claus was stranded in the desert with her…I wish I could ask him about that time and ask him if there is anything going between him and her…I wish I could just joke about it and continue on…But I can't…I just can't get that picture with Tatiana in Claus' overalls…even though I made it…

_So many songs, so many times…_

_The world had to hear so many rhymes…_

But now, we're engulfed into the war with Guild more than I wanted to get involved…I want to see Claus love me as he loves the skies….

_These kids trapped in a struggle and…  
Don't know where they're heading now…  
A head full of trouble is all they're getting …  
And nobody knows…_

_Nobody knows…_

END

Author notes: This is a short story based on episode where Claus had only just arrived back from the desert…I wondered what she would have been thinking with her feelings for Claus and also the future ahead…Hopefully the next fanfic wouldn't be that long…Thanks again…


	2. Alistia

Song for the sorrowful…  
**Chapter 2-Alistia**

By BJ-Blatzkowitz

Disclaimer: Okay, I don't own Last Exile, this is copyrighted by Studio Gonzo. This is also under copyright of Madman Entertainment. The characters are used with uttermost care and with permission. Other characters not in Last Exile is under copyright of me, if you want to use it, ask me and mention it on the disclaimer.

WARNING: This fanfic contains several spoilers from the series in general. So if you haven't watched the entire series, then stop reading now. Otherwise, continue on at your own risk. Also, this fanfic uses "Numb" by Linkin Park…

Alistia looked as Tatiana walked on, without even taking her advice. Alistia just sighed as she headed back into her cabin. Opening the door, she looked into the neat quarters of her own. A lone picture stood on her desk. Picking it up, she looked at the irony of the picture. 'It was so easy during that time. I wished that I noticed him earlier. But I didn't want Tatiana to know about that time.' Lying down on her bed, she dozed into a dreamless sleep.

Alis' voice

_I'm tired of being what you want to be…_

_Feeling so faithless…_

I remembered the first time I saw Tatiana. Hotheaded and stubborn, she had a quality that I couldn't put my finger on it. It started when I had my first lecture. I think it as 'Ships of the active sector'. I recently only got in with my noble parents supporting the move they made. I was tired of just hanging around the house, being a noble lady, as they want me to be.

There wasn't a single seat when I entered the lecture hall, except for one next to Tatiana. At first, she was arrogant and the only thing she wanted to focus on was the material being presented. She was an able student, even capable of going to the top. Ironically, we were in completely different worlds. Tatiana was more of the commanding position, always demanding of the best, arrogant and proud. I was more of the one that supported any decisions and ever considerate of others.

_Lost under the surface…_

_I don't know what you are expecting of me…_

I remembered how happy Tatiana looked as she ascended the stairs on graduation day. She had exceeded herself in all the classes and was given the top honour for it. A valour dictorium. It was a scholarship where the student continued their training but was acknowledge as a possible candidate to become a captain instantly. Without having to go through the ranks, it was a highly prized possession to receive. I joined in the others celebrate the newest graduates. Then it sturck me, was I going to lose my reflection of myself in her? I didn't want to know…all I wanted knew was that as long she is my best friend I would be fine.

_Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes…_

_Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow…_

After the photo shoot with all of the graduating students, I found Tatiana inside the Grand Hall after the ceremony. Standing beside her eliminated any fear of the world and helped me become stronger. I looked at her and she told me that someday, she'd be like the captains whose history is shown by the tapestries hanging on the walls. I asked her if she was going to attend the Graduation Ball, which was held after the last days of term. Originally, I saw that in her eyes, she didn't. But she softened up and told me that she'll come along. I was really happy as we walked together to the stores. We tried on many dresses in order to prepare ourselves ready before the rest of the students got the same idea.

_I've become so numb…_

_I can't feel you there…_

_Become so tired…_

_So much more aware…_

At the ball, we had a grand time together. There were many uniforms and formal dresses as we danced the night away. Tatiana then rashly asked me if I was of age yet. At first, asking me that question didn't faze me as I casually replied I did. (Aut: I think Anatoray's coming of age might be 16 year old…which compared to our coming of age is about 18 ) But then I found out where that we heading. Many of the students were already at the bar when we arrived. Tatiana order what I thought was a Blitz cocktail. I ordered a Lemon Lime and Bitters, which wasn't that potent compared to a Blitz one. The first spike of alcohol was something I wasn't prepared for. Choking on my drink, I heard Tatiana laughed as she rubbed my back to sooth the burning taste. Smiling at her, I thanked her for it. But then she did the most unexpected thing. Taking my chin, she gave me a light kiss on my lips. I felt as if I was caught naked in the act. Tatiana's lips moved away as she fell forward. Catching her, I realised that she was pissed at the time.

_Can't you see that you're smothering me…  
Holding too tightly …  
Afraid to lose control…  
Cause everything that you thought I would be…  
Has fallen apart right in front of you…_

I was rather shocked as an edict from the Emperor ordered us to travel to the Silvana. 'The Kill-them-all Silvana'? The ship that no ship can kill? I thought it was a one-way trip as it was rumoured that no one was able to get within 100 miles of the Silvana. But Tatiana thought it wasn't that hard as we prepped to got to the Silvana. But the Silvana had different ideas when we approached it. Gun turrets swivelled to meet us the horrendous sound of battle echoed through my ears. I thought Tatiana would back off and tell the Emperor that we failed. Thanks to her stubborn nature, she told me that we'll make it and after that, we landed on the rear deck.

At first, we were a little bit intimidated by crew, especially Alex Rowe himself. But time managed to heal that intimidation and we proved ourselves time after time again. Tatiana was then promoted to Captain of the Vanship squadrons on the ship. I was merely her navi as I stood looking with her. But then someone changed all that.

_And I know…_

_I may end up failing too…  
But I know…  
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you…_

Claus was probably the reason why I started to have the same doubts with Tatiana. He was so free when he landed on the Silvana, more like the fresh skies when he landed. I couldn't help but to think of him time after time when he landed onboard. At Walker's Dock, he was always looking out for me. Even with those guys, I felt that he was something special. More than just a kind person and even more than a friend. When I volunteered to be his navi, I felt that Tatiana wasn't free enough like Claus was. Even when he went down with Tatiana when we attacked the Urbanus, I felt a part of me ripped away. Seeing both of them okay was perhaps the best experience I had.

Alister opened her eyes and found something wet on her face. Wiping it away, she found that she was crying.

'Why am I crying for?' she mused. 'Is it for Claus or for Tatiana? I can't even decide who is worth more to me now…' And with that, she got up, closing the door to her sanctuary.

Author's notes: Whew. That took a long time to create, as I had to re-watch the entire series in order to get what was going with the relationship with Alister, Claus and Tatiana. Retelling Alister's story was a bit hard, as I had to assume that in order to know Tatiana from the Academy, she had to be at least a highborn or a noble. That graduation ceremony was taken from my ceremony two years ago. But then again, flame if it wasn't done to your tastes. Okay then, time to get Tatiana's, Sophia's and Al's thoughts on their respected loved ones…


	3. Tatiana

Song for the sorrowful…  
**Chapter 3-Tatiana**

By BJ-Blatzkowitz

Disclaimer: Okay, I don't own Last Exile, this is copyrighted by Studio Gonzo. This is also under copyright of Madman Entertainment. The characters are used with uttermost care and with permission. Other characters not in Last Exile is under copyright of me, if you want to use it, ask me and mention it on the disclaimer.

WARNING: This fanfic contains several spoilers from the series in general. So if you haven't watched the entire series, then stop reading now. Otherwise, continue on at your own risk. Also, this fanfic uses "Bring me to life" by Evanescene…

Tatiana sat in her cabin, just finished changing from Claus's overalls. Now she sat there with her Silvana jumper and her underwear on. Slowly, she put her foot into the black stockings. She sat there, musing over a problematic puzzle. That puzzle was Claus. Before she can think it further, a small knock on the door broke her chain of thought.

"Tatiana, I'm coming in." The door swung open, revealing the vice-captain. She stood in front of her.

"The captain wants to see you in his cabin." Tatiana just stayed put. Sophia noticed her changed attitude. Previously, it was one of arrogance that showed her noble upbringing. But now, she had a meeker attitude, almost if she was a child again. The only time she saw that was when she first arrived on the Silvana. That was almost two years ago.

"You know, Claus is in there. You might…"

"I don't want to go…I mean, not right now." Sophia guessed at this remark. 'So looks like she confided in Claus. But does she really like him?' Glancing, she noticed the neatly folded overalls.

"Claus was kind to you I see." Tatiana merely nodded. Sophia smiled further at her.

"It's been a long time since I saw that look on your face." And with that, she turned around and left.

Tatiana sat there, a million questions racing through her head. She mused over what Sophia said to her. She timidly brought her hand to her face. She found that her cheeks were burning. She looked away and plopped onto the bed.

'What is it that Claus have that I don't? Freedom? Hope?' And with that, she went to sleep.

Tatiana's voice

When he first arrived at the Silvana, the captain told me that I was like that when I first arrived. Hotheaded and determined, that was a long time. Almost two years ago. After changing into my flight uniform, I heard some scuffle in the hanger. Going down, I found that Claus was in a pretty bad shape. Snatching the stuffed animal, I handed it to Claus. When I looked into his eyes, he had that look of a determined vanship pilot yet retaining the innocence that a child had. When I look into them, it seems that I was at ease.

_How can you see into me eyes like open doors…_

_Leading you down into my core…_

I asked him what his name was and he did that. But the surprising thing was he asked for my name. At first Alister told Claus off but I told him anyway. After that, the Silvana was attacked by the Guild. When I saw Claus struggling with the starships, I saw immediately that he was just like me when I first fought the Guild. I snapped myself out of this as another attacked us.

_Where I've become so numb…_

_Without a soul…_

_My spirit sleeping somewhere cold…_

_When you it there and lead it back home…_

After the battle, I immediately criticised the crew and my captain on their decisions on letting Claus and his navi piloting the vanship fighter. Inside, I felt as if Claus was challenging me to do better than him. Was it jealous or envy, I do not know. I wrote immediately to my family to update them on the situation. In that letter, as I was writing, I was hesitating in putting down my experiences with Claus. It sat there on my mind for a long time before I decided it wasn't for the best. But something within me wanted him so badly. I thought it was just an emotion that can easily disappear. But I was wrong.

Wake me up inside… Call my name and save me in the dark… Bid my blood to run before I come undone… Save me from the nothing I've become…   
That emotion sort of kick started my lust for being the best. Even in the Twelve Hour Endurance race, I had ignored Alister's voice saying that we should concentrate on the mission. But I let my pride dictated my actions. When the captain chose Claus to be flying escort, I couldn't believe it. A rookie like him is to be flying escort. No, I couldn't let this happen. I tried to convince the vice-captain to let me pilot. But that only dragged Alister into it and told me that there's no freedom in my skies. I walked back slowly to my cabin and sat there. I began to think about Claus and why is it that he flies in the skies.   
All this time I can't believe I couldn't see… Kept in the dark but you are there in front of me… 

When I heard about the attack we're going to launch on the Urbanus, I knew that we had become traitors. In the attack, I chose Claus to be my navi. I wanted to get back at him for almost destroying my pride back then. Maybe it was for the worst I thought as I look back upon that. But in fact, it was for the better. He told me that he was fighting for the skies he wanted to fly in. That was his reason. I told him that he was so naïve. But that had me thinking about what I was fighting for. Pride? Loyalty? That brought up another I hadn't thought of. Love…maybe because of Claus.

_Don't let me die here…_

_There must be something more…_

_Bring me to life…_

During our isolation time, I felt as if I failed my duty to my father. I just sat there, wasting time, even as Claus tried his best to repair the vanship. I took the overalls as they reflected my disgraced self. Taking the uniform off, I sat there naked as I felt all my worries not only increase but also soften. I couldn't care if Claus saw me like that. I just wanted to forgive myself for my failure. But Claus did something that I couldn't do, forgive and keep fighting. Even though I said that it was hopeless to find the Silvana alive, he wouldn't say no to that and kept telling me that there is always hope for that. That's probably the reason why I confide in him. A spiritual guide for a wreck like me. When the Duisis captured us, I though our journey will end there. That single gunshot sound was enough to realise that love is a powerful thing and that it wouldn't let me let go of Claus. Seeing him all right was a relief to both my broken heart and to my feelings.

As we got back onto the Silvana, I knew that Lavi wouldn't take this so lightly. She stormed out of the hanger when she saw me in Claus' overalls. I always held her in high regard but now, I don't know what to do. Especially with our feelings for Claus.

Tatiana opened her eyes as the memories stopped their endless waltz through her mind. Sitting up, she wiped the tears from her eyes. 'Why can't I just tell him how I feel? Is it because of Lavi or my own insecurity?' She sat there thinking about the possibilities with Claus. But this was something that her father would surely forbid if he knew about it.

Changing into her overalls, she took Claus' overalls and left her sanctuary to give back the thing she wanted to set right.

**Author's notes**: Well, it looks like this fanfic took an even longer time to create than the previous one. I wasn't too sure how to tell Tatiana's feelings for Claus and especially her fierce attitude. I can only conclude that she lets her pride dictate her actions, which can lead into situations of tension as shown with the battle with the Urbanus. With that, most of her history is shown by the series so I didn't had to backtrack into her past. But I decided that her emotional state was the most important aspect to look into. And so, this is the main focus for this fanfic. Hopefully, Sophia's story wouldn't be that hard to create…


	4. Interlude

Song for the sorrowful…

_Interlude:_

Thanks for the comments, especially thebigW, you have all been a good inspiration for creating the fanfic. Just a few things before I zip off to uni, I will finish this fanfic with Sophia's story telling. I believe that Al doesn't have much of a caring side until they meet up with EXILE. Plus, I am sick of tired watching the series again and again to get their personalities and their feelings for their respected loved ones…

As I said, the next chapter will be the last…hope you all enjoyed Song for the Sorrowful…see again, wherever the skies may take us…


End file.
